Nick and Jessica Simpson – Like, Divorce, Man

The worst kept secret in the world has been exposed. Jessica Simpson and Nick what’s his name are calling it quit.

I must say, this is absolutely shocking. SHOCKING! Who possible saw it coming? Okay, perhaps Nick has been chick hunting in a few bars of the “strip” variety. Okay, maybe Jessica is alleged to have been going down on more pole than a fireman. Still, this moralistic gum shoe couple should have been the next leave it to beaver couple of the entertainment industry.

As to Nick, he’s already working the remaining minutes of his fame by signing up for a sitcom on the WB. If you’re starting on the WB, that is definitely a sign the end is near. Regardless, he’s flogging the babes at a record pace, recently being seen with 6 of the fairer sex at a sushi joint. Perhaps the funniest sighting was his waving the starting flag at a recent NASCAR race. Cause you know NASCAR fans are big Nick Lachey fans. Nice knowing you Nick…now go away.

As to Jessica, she’s doing fine. I mean, all she has to do is stand there and stick her chest out. I give you the “Dukes of Hazzard” as exhibit “A”. Apparently, she’s working on a new album which no doubt we will all wait for with baited breath. To bad Tom Cruise isn’t still single. Can you imagine the two of them together? Hell, he’d probably eat Oprah’s couch instead of jumping on it.

Alas, celebrity couples should be taken serious. Marriage is the foundation of our country. I mean, what if Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston broke up?

Oh. Never mind.

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