Instant Celebrity Status Through Sperm

Sperm is a critical element of creating life. This statement will no doubt outrage Conservatives. Well, they will positively blow an artery when they find out you can now by celebrity sperm.

Vincent Gallo – Gallo’s Humor?

Vincent Gallo is a fairly well known actor, a champion of the independent film. This, of course, means he is apt to do interesting things and say incredibly stupid things. This is what it means to be an actor!  Old Gallo, however, has trumped his fellow thespians.

Yep, you to can buy the sperm of Vince Gallo for the low, low, low price of $1,000,000. Wait, that’s not all. Vince will even through in the in vitro fertilization. For an extra $500,000, he’ll suffer the indignity of fertilizing you the old fashioned way with a romp in the sack.  $500,000 for a screw? I have to make an independent film!

So, what do you get with Vince’s sperm? Well, he is 5-foot-11, athletic, no history of cripples in the family and not bald at the age of 43. Oh, I almost forgot to mention he has a 8-inch dong, although no proof is provided.

So, what’s in a name? Well, nothing. You can have his sperm, but you can’t use his name for any little buns of joy.

Let’s not get crazy.

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